There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

If at first you DO succeed, try not to look astonished!

Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... till you can find a rock.

It's not hard to meet expenses, they're everywhere.

Help Wanted: Telepath.  You know where to apply.

Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark.

Department of Redundancy Department

What has four legs and an arm?  A happy pit bull.

2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2.

C:\DOS   C:\DOS\RUN   RUN\DOS\RUN

Best file compression around:  "DEL *.*" = 100% compression

The Definition of an Upgrade: Take old bugs out, put new ones in.

Why doesn't DOS ever say "EXCELLENT command or filename"?

Ethernet (n): something used to catch the etherbunny

A mainframe: The biggest PC peripheral available.

Disinformation is not as good as datinformation.

RAM disk is *not* an installation procedure.

ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!

All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?

Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue.

"640K ought to be enough for anybody." - Bill Gates, 1981

Real programmers don't document. If it was hard to write, it should be hard
to understand.

Beware of programmers who carry screwdrivers.